Asking for the Tip: The Percentage, the Because, and the Big One

Ask for the tip, every time, with a reason attached, at the end of the dance or the room while he is still happy. A sales coach for dancers lists leaving a customer without asking for a tip as one of the three missed opportunities of a shift, next to leaving early and not replying to messages, and it is the only one of the three that costs nothing to fix. The tip is the part of the price that is yours alone: no house cut, no host, no DJ percentage at most clubs. Dancers who ask leave with more than dancers who hope, and the men who tip best are the ones who were asked warmly by someone who had just given them a good time.

Why the tip is different money

At most clubs the house takes a cut of the room and sometimes a per-song cut on dances; the tip is the one line that goes straight to you. A 2018 report on where club money goes described a room where the club kept around three hundred of a thousand-plus charge; the tip on top of that was the dancer's. It is also the money the customer gives because he wants to, which makes it a measure of the dance in a way the price is not. A big tip is a man telling you to do that again; a man who tips every time is on his way to being a regular (/advice/from-first-visit-to-regular).

Clubs that compute the DJ tip-out from the room count or from dance fees generally do not see tips, which is one more reason to ask for the tip rather than raise the price. Check your own club's rules.

The three asks

The percentage. For a room, frame the tip as a share of the room, the way a restaurant does. "The room was three hundred; most guys tip twenty percent on top, and you were better than most guys." Twenty percent on a half hour room is sixty dollars that did not exist until you said the sentence. On a dance, the percentage is clumsy; use the because instead.

The because. Attach a reason, and make the reason about him. "That was the best half hour of my night, because you talked to me. Take care of me." "You've been a gentleman the whole time, and gentlemen tip." "I gave you the long version. Tip me like it." The reason does two things: it tells him the tip is earned, and it tells him what behavior gets rewarded, which is how you train a regular. The sales curriculum's tipping module is essentially a catalog of becauses; you need three that sound like you.

The big one. For a whale, a celebration, or a man who has been throwing money all night, name a number. "Make my night. A hundred on top and I'll remember you forever." Men who are spending at that level are often waiting to be told what big looks like, and dancers on a panel about their richest customers describe the biggest tips of their careers coming after a direct ask, not before. Name it with a grin and a hand out, and let him choose. The man who gives you fifty instead of a hundred has still given you fifty you would not have had.

When do I ask for the tip, and how do I word it?

At the end, in the last minute of the room or the last thirty seconds of the dance, while he is still happy and before the walk back breaks the mood. Word it as a statement with a reason: "Take care of me, that was the good version." Never "do you want to tip?" which gives him a no, and never after he has stood up and started walking, when the moment has passed and you look like you are chasing him. Say it, smile, hand out, silence. He is reaching for his wallet; anything you say now sounds like an apology.

If he paid the room on a card, the tip is the moment to ask for cash: "The room's on the card, tip me in cash so it's really mine." Most men understand, and the ones who do not can add it to the card, minus the house haircut (/advice/funny-money-and-card-payouts).

Tips on stage and at the table

Stage tips are advertising, and a dancer on the Freakonomics podcast says so plainly, but advertising still has a price. Work the rail, make eye contact with every man who tips, and thank the big ones by name if you got it. A customer-side guide to club spending describes how little stage money adds up to compared with a single dance, which is the point: the stage tip is the beginning of a conversation that ends in a dance, and the thank-you at the end of the set ("you tipped like a man who wants a dance, I'm coming to get you") is how the conversation starts.

At the table, a dancer sitting for a song with a man who has bought a drink can ask for a tip for the time: "Buy me a drink and tip me for the company" is a floor norm at many clubs. If the club has no dancer-drink commission, the table tip is the only money a conversation makes, and /advice/the-guy-who-says-hell-take-care-of-you is why you do not sit without it.

What if he says no?

"No problem" and the walk back, warmly, with the door open: "Next time, then." Never argue a tip, never sulk, never let him see it change your face. A no on the tip is not a no on the customer; some men never tip and buy five dances every visit, and that is a fine regular. Keep the because light so a no costs nothing, and note which asks worked on which men. Dancers who track it report that the because out-performs the bare ask by a wide margin and that the big one, used on the right man, is the single most profitable sentence of the night.

Keeping the tip yours

Tips go on your body, in the garter or the wrist band, and to the locker during the shift, never counted on the floor. Record them in your tally with the sale they came from, so your shift log shows what each customer was worth in total (/advice/counting-songs-and-checking-the-house). And set aside tax on them like everything else; cash tips are income, and /advice/taxes-for-dancers has the set-aside rule.

Do this tonight

• Ask for a tip at the end of every dance and every room, with a reason attached.
• Use the percentage on rooms ("most guys do twenty on top") and the because on dances.
• Name a number for the man who has been spending big all night.
• Ask before the walk back, hand out, then silence.
• Log every tip with the sale it came from.